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I don't believe I spoke against cremation last night at the Raging Sage. I think I was looking at the 'positive' elements of dealing with the reality of death and burial. In North American culture we have moved far from having to deal with death in a straight forward manner. When I was a kid a great Uncle died and his body was 'laid out' in the living room of their home for about a week and the presence of the power of death was palpable to the gathered family and friends. As a kid I was struck by the waxen shell that had once been my relative and I got to see close up and personal what the end of man is. The smell of decay was real. Oddly, I didn't feel traumatized by that, but it instead brought me to a realization that death is real but that life also must be real and that I ought to live life well. I don't think I thought that all out as a kid, but I clearly recognized the two opposing forces. It also allowed me to not grab the popular notions that death is just a 'passing through the door' imagery. Death is ugly and bodies decay and the shells that were animated by spirit are not pretty when the spirit leaves and returns to its Maker. "He looks so lifelike," is just euphemism.
I note that most funerals I conduct are no longer funerals, they are memorial services. The body is never viewed by family and friends, the body is then cremated and the ashes placed in an urn or box, and that is all followed by a memorial service where we remember the good things about our friend or relative. All this can be conducted without having to face the stench of death. It is almost like the person went on extended vacation or simply disappeared.
I love the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead. Jesus commands the crowd to roll away the stone and the people are concerned because it has been three days and the body will have begun to stink. They know this not because of theory or something they read somewhere, but because they are acquainted with death experientially and intimately. Most of us are afraid to die. We do not know what lies beyond it. The answer to our fear is not to avoid looking at death, but begin to deal with it by vicariously living into the death of others. As we cast about in our sorrow and fear, we can find true comfort that Someone pinned death to the mat and claimed victory over it. Life comes against the backdrop of death. The beauty of life is found in looking death straight in the eye and choosing life instead.
When my friend died a few months ago, we viewed the body that had been Pete's. It reminded me of how fragile my life is. And as I watched the workman lower that casket into the grave and as I threw dirt on the casket and as family members threw flowers into the grave, I was struck with the reality that man is dust and is like the grass of the field. Here today and gone tomorrow. Powerful imagery. Imagery that led me to remember my Creator and to walk more intimately with the One who formed me, loves me, and draws me to Himself.
I suspect cremation has its symbols too, but I think NA culture has used it as avoidance of rather than walking into death. All that said, cremation is far cheaper and it leaves more money for the wake where the real remembering begins. I realize that funerals are for the living, but I would like all of you to have to look at my dead body, then be buried in the cheapest casket made, after which you can all have a huge party and remember what a pain in the butt old Rod used to be. Especially when he got on his high horse about death and resurrection. I'm looking forward to to, in about fifty years, missing that party by a couple of days. Don't worry, I'll be doing some serious partying myself.
BTW, just for added correction, I think it was you and Steve who brought up the pagan ideas of spreading ashes to be one with nature. I brought up spreading ashes with appropriate Scripture reading and prayer. Should I stand corrected?
Rod |
