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Eight years ago, I started grad school (studying Computer Science), with the long-term goal of eventually being a professor at the U of A. I got my Master's while I was working full-time, which was exhausting but (barely) doable. I had always planned to continue directly on and get my PhD ... but when I finished my Master's, I changed my mind. The work was too hard, and it was taking me away from my family too much (and PhD was going to be worse!). I decided that I could not pursue my PhD and work at the same time.
One option, of course, was to quit my job, and go back as a full-time student. But I didn't think that it was wise to give up a good job (and pile up loads of student debt) just so I could go pursue my dream. So I handed it over to God, and waited. I told Him, "I want to go back, but you are going to have to make this happen. Either provide a miraculous scholarship, that would replace my salary - or just get me laid off from IBM."
About a month ago, I was warned that layoffs were coming at IBM, and that I was likely to be on the list. At first I was scared and angry - worried about how I might provide for my family. (Tucson is not a great place to be a programmer, and I don't think that God is asking me to leave this city!)
But as I considered my options, I of course remembered grad school. I sent an email to my old professor, and found that he was very excited about the possibility of having me back - and willing to do what it took to get the paperwork taken care of. I looked at my finances, and realized that we had saved quite a bit. And I looked at the calendar, and realized that my first classes, which I took in 2005, would begin to expire in 2015. This was the perfect time to go back to school, if I was ever going to do it.
And so my attitude changed. Although I put in a lot of applications for various programming jobs around town, what I was praying for was that I could go back to school. I was praying that IBM would lay me off - and that I couldn't find a job to replace it!
Yesterday, I got the official notice. IBM is going to lay me off. IBM is very generous with benefits (even as you leave), so I have another 30 days before it's official. It's time to close up the things I'm working on - even to hunt around IBM for other opportunities. I'll be applying for what I can find.
But it now looks very likely that God has answered my prayers. Unless something astonishing happens, on July 12, I will end my 15 years with IBM...and about a month later, I will start on my PhD. It's a daunting change, but an exciting one as well.
Right now, though, I need prayer and accountability. I told God that if He provided a replacement job before my job at IBM ended, then I would take it (instead of go back to school). And so I find myself knowing that I need to aggressively pursue a new job - but not wanting to do so. Please pray that I will be diligent in my search. Please hold me accountable, and ask me if I'm actually looking and applying. Please pray that God will lead me in a very clear fashion.
But if you're willing, also please pray that I fail miserably (at my job hunt). |
