Responses
laynEpoo: wow (11/28/12)
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Responses (sorted by date)
laynEpoo: wow (11/28/12)
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I went to the eye doctor dreading the conversation I was about to have. I screwed up my courage and decided to speak the truth this time. Sometimes I lie.
Dr. Lynch is a very good doctor. He attended Grand Canyon University and so we have that in common. He still serves on the school's Board and we chat about professors we knew and the changes the school is going through. Dr. Lynch loves Jesus and he is not afraid to say so to his patients. He gives me a break on the co-pay because I am a pastor. He
has determined that I suffer from glaucoma and he says I should take a drop of medicine before bed time. I resolve to do that. My resolutions are never good.
He asked me how I was doing with the drops. I told him I used the medicine sporadically and that for the last while I haven't used it at all. He clucked his tongue in the annoying way doctor's cluck their tongues when they know that you aren't doing what you are supposed to do. He told me how important the drop is and that "should Jesus tarry, I
might be stuck with these eyes for a long time to come." He told me he isn't trying to shame me, but the net effect of his frowning and clucking and dire warnings conspired to cause me to hang my head anyway.
He asked me how he could help me help myself. It was a good question and I might steal it. I decided to tell him the truth. I told him that telling me to take an eye drop before bedtime is incredibly painful for me since I don't have a bedtime. I told him about my sleep disorder that
means I sleep at all kinds of weird times and for completely random amounts of time. I told him I sleep in chairs and on a couch and flopped on the floor and sometimes even in bed. I told him that I wake up with
my brain spinning with ideas and then fall asleep during lunch. I told him I don't live a consistent life. I don't have well defined schedules that happen every month or week or day. I don't do routine. He kind of teared up and asked how that affected my life. I told him I felt a lot of shame about it. I told him it made me feel even more abnormal and
weird than I already feel because of my size and shape. He just sat and listened and nodded.
He gave me a prescription and told me to do my best. He told me to forget about the demand to do the drop every day before bed. He told me to just take them whenever it works for me and to forgive myself for being distracted and forgetful. He told me he has a son who is highly ADD so he knows a little about the frustrations. He reminded me that I
am creative and smart and can do wonderful things other people can't do because of the ways I suffer. He reminded me that Jesus loves me and has a new body planned for me that won't require eye drops.
I got the prescription filled. It would be kind of fun if Jesus just came back and took us home. Meanwhile, I'll try to remember how much I like using these eyes of mine.
Rod | 
