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From: rodhugen
Date: Thu Feb 10 22:14:19 MST 2005 Subject: Rod log

I was supposed to be at Writer's Group tonight, but we cancelled out so I have some time to blog a bit. I appreciated the trip to San Diego for the Emergent conference. Like Eric, I thought the best time was the trip to and from. I also enjoyed sleeping at Kathy's sister's house and getting to connect with the Miller family. My niece is the baby of that side of the family and she is a junior in college so I'm feeling a bit gray and old. I also had a hard time keeping up with Eric and Russ. Age is not a pretty thing. I dozed off during the conversation about Truth and also once during a worship service. Eric says that I sometimes disengage and I've been working on trying to catch myself doing that and at the same time I wonder how much of it is that sometimes I just need a nap. To be honest, I thought the conversation about truth was pretty boring but Russ said it was good so perhaps I just don't get what they were talking about.

The best times at conferences is the time between the sessions when you make new friends and engage others in conversation. I learned a lot from the people that I met over lunch, dinner, and during the breaks. I always have an overwhelming urge to invite them to come and experience the Village and have to resist telling them to just pack their bags and come to Tucson.

I experienced meeting God in a special way one evening when the worship time spent a lot of time talking about vision and seeing and I realized just how much I lost in not being able to see as a kid. There is a deep longing in me to remember events that I can't remember because I didn't actually 'see' them. I spent some time with God and told Him my longing and through a conversation with Russ found some peace. Sometimes I wish I could put my hand on my own head and see the pictures that I sometimes see when I am praying for others. I remember smells and tastes and music and the touches of my childhood, but I don't remember anything but blurry pictures of events like birthday parties and first days at school and Saturday nights singing around the piano. I wonder how I turn that longing to see into a demand that God let me recall what I wish to recall.

The conversation about humanity challenged me to think differently than I have in the past. I'm not fond of having my bedrock beliefs challenged and it was hard to sit and listen when I wanted to leap to my feet and argue and fight for what I think is right. The bottom line was that it is important sometimes to let conflicting beliefs infiltrate so that I can better define what I believe with the realization that tomorrow I may well think differently yet.

I loved Dan Allendar's presentations. It was fascinating to me to listen to someone who was part of discipling Eric's folks who have in turn discipled me through their own work and through Eric. I saw basic belief systems and ways of dealing with people that were vaguely familiar. I also appreciated Doug Padgitt and his presentation on preaching. It made me long to be better than I am at stimulating conversations about Jesus.

It is good to be home and it is good to be settling into our new house. Time away is always nice, but reengaging the routines of family and community is ever sweeter.

Rod

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