From: rodhugen
Date: Sun Dec 14 09:15:28 MST 2003
Subject: Faithfulness and Tom and stuff

It is never those who are distant who hurt you. Only those you let in. Only those who you allow to come close. Yesterday Tom and I went to the U of A basketball game. We had a great time talking and sharing (and cheering!). It has been a while since we just 'hung out'. From our worship times together, many of you know that Tom and I have a running gag about age. I harrass him every chance I get, and he gives back as well. Despite those jokes, I love Tom. He has been a friend since the day we met some five years ago. We had an instant connection. Some common background helped that connection, but it was more than that. Tom has walked with me through so many of my ministry highs and lows and has always been there as I walk this zigzag path to God. He has been so very faithful. Faithfulness is not something we talk about much at the Village. Tom practices faithfulness. Faithfulness is what I suspect I need from Tom and he gives it without hesitation. He isn't perfect. Like me, he is flawed and a sinner. But as I vented some of my frustrations yesterday, he listened. He listened as a friend should. He listened with tears. I heard the catch in his voice as he responded to my pain. And when I had finished speaking, as we sat in the car parked in his driveway, instead of getting out and going back to his routines or worse - giving me advice - he put his arm on my shoulder and prayed for me. I don't know what he prayed for, but in that instant I realized several things. I realized that God was in the car. That Jesus was ministering to me through Tom. And I realized that I can continue to walk this path the way God calls me to even when it zags instead of zigs. And I realized that Tom is dangerous. Tom can crush me. He has power in my life. And it scared me to realize how often I have been betrayed by friends. Friends like Tom. And worse, I realize how often I have been the betrayer. I don't like the fact that I have brought people close and then, instead of putting my hand on their shoulder to pray, I have used it to stick a knife in their back. And finally I realized that it is not Tom who is faithful, it is my Abba. Jesus is faithful in Tom. I like that. I like that when Tom's hand was on my shoulder, it was Jesus' hand. And that Jesus is always faithful. I love Tom. I love Jesus in Tom even more. And I pray that Jesus will repair the damage my backstabbing has done. If I have not been a faithful friend, forgive me. And let me know how I have hurt you. So that I can repent and make restitution. And the next time you see the knife in my hand, tell me to drop it and turn it into a hand of prayer. Because I want to be more like the Jesus I see in Tom. Over the last weeks I have had numerous conversations with the people of the Village. Thanks to you who choose to be faithful. Not faithful to me - faithful to Him. Thanks to you who just show up. Thanks to you who send encouraging e-mails (you know who you are). Thanks to you who give small gifts. Thanks to you who just stop and talk without agenda. Thanks to you who listen. Thanks to you who pray. Thanks to you who put your hands on Eric's and my shoulders as we try to lead through the zigzag. You are dangerous, but you choose to love. Thanks. Rod

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