From: rodhugen
Date: Tue Feb 14 15:52:42 EST 2012
Subject: Birthday bash

Responses Ron: In Heaven. . . (2/15/12) Responses (sorted by date) Ron: In Heaven. . . (2/15/12) Arizona is a hundred years old today. We are pretty proud of the accomplishment. I think the governor is making a big speech and some folks are going to party into the wee hours and set off fireworks and dance to the Mariachis. I'm trying to get into the spirit, but it is miserably cold and rainy outside so I'm kind of huddled in my office trying to avoid sermon writing instead of helping to wish ourselves a happy birthday. A hundred years is a long time. We have not always been a great state. In the early days we were known for cotton, cattle, citrus, copper, and climate. We are still sort of known for the climate thing, but we can't get the copper mines open, cattle raising all went to Argentina, citrus is big in Florida and California, and only God knows where the cotton went. When I was a kid we used to watch the cowboys round up the herds when we would drive the old '51 Ford out toward Chandler and visit Oscar and Mary on their cotton farm. I remember stopping at huge orchards and 'gleaning' oranges and grapefruit. The owners of the orchards might not have considered it 'gleaning', but we knew our Bibles. I always liked tangerines, but I can't even find them at the supermarket anymore. No limes, either. When we became a state the Feds offered Arizona a law school and a mental health hospital. We flipped a coin with Phoenix and we lost the flip so Phoenix got the mental health hospital and we got stuck with the law school. My favorite story from a guy who taught law here was that a rancher bought a bull and the bull was unable to, um, perform its duties. The rancher was disgusted and wrote the cost of the bull off on his taxes. The IRS denied the claim and charged him for the tax and penalties and interest. The guy painted a giant check on the side of his bull for the exact amount due and then unloaded the bull at the federal building, walked it into the freight elevator and 'paid' his taxes. The folks in the building were not amused and had him arrested for disturbing the peace and failure to pay his taxes. He spent the night in jail and went before a judge who had just recently been audited by the IRS. The judge forgave him the tax debt since he had tried to pay it by check which the IRS had previously agreed was an acceptable form of payment and then changed their mind when they didn't like the form of the check. He then freed him from the disturbing the peace charge since the bull was docile and presented no danger to anyone, especially cows. This story might not be true in every detail, but it sure is a fun one to tell. We have had our share of crazy governors and congresspersons in Arizona. One got indicted and went to jail and later became a gourmet chef. One painted over the Federal highway signs to up the speed limit. One wore her hair in a giant beehive. I used to deliver papers for the Evening American newspaper and the guy who owned the paper, Ev Mecham, was a used car salesman who later became governor. He shook my hand when I was a kid and told me that if I worked hard I could grow up and be anything I wanted to be which wasn't true since I wanted to be a jockey and that has not worked out. Jack Williams was called 'one-eyed Jack' because he had a glass eye and he came to Grand Canyon College to speak when I was a student there. He was a very tiny man surrounded by giant Highway patrol men. He pushed them aside and came over to talk to me and some of my friends. He told us to be sure to vote for him, but we couldn't vote at the time because we were too young so he kind of wasted his glad handing moment on a bunch of freshmen. He complimented me on my 'radio voice' which was a pretty big deal since he was an announcer on radio station KOY before he became governor. Arizona is a nice place to live. July and August can get a bit warm, but the rest of the time the weather is awesome. Except, of course, today on our birthday when it is cold and rainy. Phoenix is kind of the big bully city in Arizona. They have lots of people there and they like to make rules for everybody else to follow. Tucson is smaller and a much better city and is always trying to compete with Phoenix, but most of the time Phoenix is like that giant monster dog who doesn't even know there is a little yappy dog barking at its feet. Flagstaff is a small city that gave up competing from the beginning since they get snow and ice and no one cares to live there anyway except some diehards who think it is awesome to shovel snow. We have lots of little cowboy and mining towns like Willcox and Casa Grande and Jerome and Ajo and Globe/Miami, but now days they've turned into tourist traps or are just blowing away with the tumbleweeds. Sedona used to be a great place to go. Slide Rock was amazing and I wore out the backside of lots of jeans sliding down that natural water slide. Now all the crazy New Age people have taken it over and they are always trying to sell you crystals or mood rings or they are running naked in the red rocks searching for the Harmonic Convergence of the Energy Vortex or some such thing. I try to avoid it now. Tucson is kind of slow and we are just happy when Cinco de Mayo rolls around and we can break out the tequila and a salt shaker and make a margarita. The problem is that we have to run to the store to buy limes... Happy birthday to us, Rod

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From: Ron
Date: Tue Feb 14 20:19:33 EST 2012
Subject: In Heaven. . .