From: mike
Date: Fri Apr  1 12:38:44 MST 2005
Subject: Middle of the Night PrayerMiddle of the Night Prayer

Middle of the Night Prayer No more compromises for me. I want to grow in the Lord. I want to be the man God created me to be. I think about what I have been told by others. How God really, really likes me. I think of his love for me, and how I do not even imagine what he has in store for me. My love for him. I am on a journey I could never imagine a few months ago. No more compromises. No more compromises. I give you all I am. I ask you to forgive me my hidden sins, those only you know about. Before you I am laid bare. There is nothing hidden from you in all creation. Hated by my parents, cast aside by society, alone, friendless. You stepped into my life and restored me. You alone loved me when no one else did. It is 2 am and I cannot sleep. My mind and heart is on the mercy and love of my Lord. My eyes have seen more than anyone should have to see. Tired, old before my time, broken, not wanting to live and afraid to die. In such awful pain, angry at the world, not fitting in. You gently, so very gently came into my life. Not the wrath I feared. Not the demands I thought you would make. Just being there, loving me. Showing me only mercy and love. My Lord and my God. My Father. My King. The emotional pain keeps washing over me like waves. Crashing on me like waves over rocks. Children being beaten, raped, their childhoods stolen from them. Years are being taken from them that cannot be returned. You want me to return to the place I came from as a soldier this time, not a victim. I can’t do this. Yet I will if you ask me to. All that I am is yours to do with as you will. Wrap your arms around me Dad while I weep for the hurts I have endured, and for this burden you have laid on me.

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