I'm a very collaborative person. I care a lot about people. I believe in unselfishness. I'm smart and healthy.
All of this leads me to take on projects and relationships past the point of an abundant life and into a slow mental death. I struggle for breath and break free of the extra burdens. I wish I hadn't taken them on in the first place...
But that's how we humans learn! If we want to make a boat that works then we need to make it heavy enough to be stable in the water. But get it too heavy and it sinks to the bottom.
Sometimes we think that if only we could get rid of our sin and hear exactly what God was saying to us we would always get things right the first time. He would tell us exactly how to make the boat and that would be that. We would never have to learn anything. We would just listen and obey.
Since when is God like that? Not since the last time I read about Noah and the various birds he sent out to find dry land (why didn't God just tell him it was time to get out? After all, he gave such detailed instructions about the boat...)
Of course sin is mixed up with everything we do. But don't give it too much air time in the learning process or learning will become a terrible duty rather than a gift that God has given humans. He didn't have to create us to be beings that have to learn...he just wanted to.
But I really understand your frustration. I don't embrace the learning process well and I especially dislike disappointing people on the way. But since learning is what we do every day of our lives I'm trying to embrace the process rather than just waiting for the day when I have it all figured out.
EmilyM |