From: dbonilla
Date: Fri Oct 14 15:46:15 MST 2005
Subject: Trusting

It is stuff of life of which you write, and of which I relate in a big big way. There is life I was created to live with first Corinthian love that "trusts all things" and Here is that life which results from not fully apprehending perfect love. I suffer in ways brought on by others or self-afflicted. Living out of fear and lack of trust, I don't put any bio info on this site and memorize all passwords without auto-fill. Don't want to get phished, duped, betrayed or self-deceived (again). Since recently becoming a home owner, hence needing to be more responsible in keeping jobs, having a son at Palo Verde(Please pray for Matthew), and occasionally stupidly looking again at past failures, I've strayed from introspection, having all these and two more as handy excuses: Time is in short supply but opportunity for worry is plentiful. Who is it that said an unexamined life is not worth living? And who asked, do we work to live or live to work? Even my physical health is affected by all this busyness. Starting to smoke again 20 years after quitting will go down as one of my greater idiocies. My faith and hope is renewed most times I read the Word, hear my daughter pray, see or hear of children trusting in spite of pain, and see the brimming joy of one Cheryl who is overcoming by the blood of the Lamb. The Bruised Reed, by Richard Sibbes takes me to another world, a world of encouragement and hope that the Christian life if deeply lived is not only a valid, but an essential way to truly LIVE and achieve/maintain sanity amidst the dancing and bleeding. Lord Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinnner. And help me to trust you more. You alone are the One who is always there for me.

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From: Karen
Date: Fri Oct 21 16:07:37 MST 2005
Subject: With the trust of a child

Putting the pressure on much harder now To return again and again Just let the red rain splash you Let the rain fall on your skin I come to you, defences down With the trust of a child -Peter Gabriel, "Red Rain" You make me want to see the film, too. Without seeing it, I'm thinking that sometimes, a fatalism develops in children (or adults) when they've been so hurt, for so long... fatalistic blind trusting is on one extreme. Sitting in bitterness, closed off is the other extreme. Floating in the middle--whom can I trust? can I even trust, and how? How much time did that woman spend with those children, I wonder? How many prayers were involved, I wonder too. Trust requires so much, even beyond time and prayer... Healthy trust is like a weight-bearing bone: so slow to build up in the first place, but as a child, you aren't even thinking about your bones growing, you're just using them, freely, without pain. But the right nutrients are needed all along to make bone more resilient; like bone, trust is easily shattered if its "density" has been compromised. Bone is easily broken even if it's strong, given a strike at the wrong angle or with traumatic force. Like weight-bearing bone, trust is difficult to mend, and impossible to mend well without adequate rest and care given. You might even need someone else's help to reset it before it can mend properly. Of course, without ever trying the bone, you'll never know whether you've been healing... but the first steps on a still-healing bone are awkward and painful. So go gently.

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