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From: keibru
Date: Sun Feb 1 22:08:36 MST 2004 Subject: nothing makes sense

There are...mysteries out there...waiting for me... confounding my subconscious, subcontinent-sized condition… No concise, inconspicuous way to say it except to say it outright: nothing, at its core of existence, makes sense. No scientific method can prove and no evangelistic spin can convince me otherwise. The more we “know” about something, the closer we get to its real essence – and to the understanding that, at the most fundamental level, there is no logic to this world. Sure: the planets may line up, the lion may hang out with the lamb, Jack Sprat may join the Atkins enlightenment – yet there shall never come a time so fraught with iambic perfection that we as a race, or as an infestation, or as any other thing, will be able to claim we've arrived at a place of true understanding. There shall always remain one undiscovered horizon, always exist one exception to natural law, inexplicably debunking the logic of tinker toy existence we have constructed as our foundation. Those who claim “knowledge”, who say they “understand”, who espouse a belief in the supremeness of their own reason, are really only able to master the laws at work in the casting of a pair of dice. [And , by the way, isn’t it comical and ironic that two people with an equally supreme faculty of reason can actually come to conflicting worldviews of what is real and true and worth our time to think about.] There is an hypnotic magnetism in the notion that, if we just gallop one more spinning revolution inside our wheel of rational narcissism, then we can finally make that dam-burst breakthrough which will give humanity true and ultimate control over its own glorious destiny. Yet humanity itself makes this impossible through its lust for schizophrenic self-destruction. There really exists no logic that can overcome our mostly unreasonable nature... no herbal salve that can smooth the edge off our migraine culture... no fairy dust to ease the cramps of our constipated progress. When we stop discovering the things that keep us on the dizzy path of the merry-go-round, perhaps then it will be quiet enough for us to hear and somehow learn simple truths. When all there is in front of us to value, however, is the merry-go-round, eventually there is someone who gets sick of it all and starts imagining there’s no heaven or hell or religion, and then jumps off. Everybody else keeps going in circles trying to ride the horsie, when truth would tell them they ought to try being the horse. Imagine all the horses, living for today... I can think of equine travesties more disturbing than this – and it sure would make the decline of humanity much more palatable. As for humanity, our destiny lies with our stomachs – itself a comical, irrational, senseless tragedy, if true. And if not, then there is indeed a mystery yet to be solved. In the meantime, we’ll keep peering into our microscopes and decoding our sacred prophecies in a vain struggle to take control of the senseless.
- keith

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