Responses
rodhugen: yea... (11/6/06)
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Responses (sorted by date)
rodhugen: yea... (11/6/06)
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This will be a short, 2 part blog.
Part 1
I just finished reading Brennan Manning's "Ruthless Trust". Awesome and challenging. During one part he retold a story of a man making the journey to see Mother Teresa. When asked what she could pray for , the man replied "Clarity". She answered (this is paraphrased) that she would not pray for that because it was the one thing he still held to that kept him from trusting God completely.
This story convicted me deeply. I am a self professed control freak. Ask my husband. I like to know the when, where and how before I do anything. It makes sense that I suffered more than a decade with an eating disorder. Now that the food issue is becoming less of one, I am forced to look at the other areas I attempt to control.
I am aware that my need to control is a slap in the face to God when it comes to trusting Him. Honestly, if I see a problem, I will try and fail over and over before I will turn to God. My fear is that His solution isn't my solution.
In short, I am introspecting (is that a word) and seeking out God's help in this area of my life.
Part 2
I had a dream the other night. I was in an airport with Kevin, my parents and some other people from my life (I cannot recall though) waiting to board a plane. I was very excited and anxiously anticipating the flight that was to take me on some great adventure. As we are in line, the plane that takes off before ours, crashes in slow motion. I scream and hit the floor. When things settle down a bit I turn to the ticket person ,in hope, and say, "I assume the rest of the flights are cancelled." She looks at me and smiles, "No your plane is boarding now. Have a good flight."
I don't usually put any thought into my dreams because they are usually very weird and incoherent. However, in looking at the issue of trust, this dream just stood out. Thanks for letting me share. Comments, thoughts ??? |
