Hi. Arggg. Blogging is so vulnerable. Here goes....
I've been thinking about the questions Eric assigned us to consider as we pray these 2 weeks and as we fast this coming Friday.
(BYW--I would like some fasting ideas. I'm somewhat hypoglycemic and I really want to fast food because I can feel the sacrifice. Or maybe I would be wise to fast something else. Any ideas?...what are ya'll fasting????)
So, Eric's questions....
1. WHAT ARE MY NEEDS? Well, God keeps bringing to my mind this verse in Hebrews chapter 12, right after the part about God disciplining us and us enduring hardship as His discipline. "Therefore, strengthen (literally 'to make straight or upright again') the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb that is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed." (I've been asking God to show me how to do this for myself. He has revealed to me my addiction to reading fiction and how I sabotage my life and my work (with my kids) by staying up late reading. I have tried all other methods of dealing with my addiction for many years and can't resist it. The only thing I have found that helps me is total abstinence--I cannot read fiction at night. Or I just blow off my life again. So WHAT I NEED is to remember my weakness and stay this level course, this path of fleeing temptation.
I also keep going back to my biggest sins over and over--the sins of discouragement and despair. I have been falling back into this sin again and again, year after year. Nothing has ever worked kept working except this one thing-- dating God. This last month or so I've been praying daily for 1/2 an hour (while my kids have their 1/2 hour of TV a day), praying through my list of the top 20 things I want for myself and others, pouring our my heart and praying Scripture. I've never been so encouraged, hopeful, happy or mentally stable as I have this month!!!!!!! WHAT I NEED is to keep doing this all my life. And that is something I can do. :)
Please pray I continue on this path that makes straight my hands, knees and path. Pray for me as I face whatever attack the enemy throws at me for telling ya'll about this.
2. HOW AM I USING PEOPLE? Well, I've been using people as excuses. In my mind I have blamed my kids, my husband, my friends, the devil, anyone else who comes to mind and even in-animate objects for my discouragement, despair and not taking responsibility for me life. I repent.
3. WHAT RICHES TO I HAVE TO GIVE AWAY? out of time.. more later :)
lots a love, Em (ily Lewis)