From: clrclady
Date: Fri Jan 15 00:45:06 EST 2010
Subject: Rest this year

I had a major melt down in early December. I was going to quit everything, and I mean everything. Including my job which I really need. I was over extended, not taking care of myself well, and having a bit of reaction to having not been talking to anyone about what I was doing. I stepped back and truly took the month fallow and I am kind of taking a more fallow year. Each year I ask God to show me a verse to focus on for that year, and in November, God was pressing for Matthew 11:28-30. I resisted it for a very long time. Partly because it was one of the first verses I remembering hearing as it was on my grandfather’s suicide note before I became a believer and partly because I have a really hard time resting. The verse says: “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Susan Cepin said an interesting thing that made me decided to take it on as my year verse. My grandfather never, even in his death, took Jesus’ yoke upon him. So, I have been thinking a lot about having Jesus’ yoke on me and going back to the idea of two animals being yoked together and they have to go the same place and do the same things. Walking where Jesus goes and doing what Jesus would do. Kind of hard stuff when I mess up all the time and put my own yoke on myself a lot. But I have all been reading Hebrews 3 and 4 a lot and entering God’s promised rest and not hardening my heart in rebellion or disbelief so that I miss out on His promise. How often I get busy doing things because I believe I get my identity out of what I do, or to please someone, or to get approval and I just do not sit still in the belief that God loves me just the way I am right here right now. That is really hard to rest in. So, that is what I am trying to do this year and I a lot of what I prayed about doing out fast day.

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