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From: clrclady
Date: Tue Sep 15 00:59:40 EDT 2009 Subject: One of my Tobiahs

Interesting blog day. From trying to Celebrate to looking straight at my sin. I have been thinking about Eric's sermon a lot and my Tobiah and my blog on Celebrating. My Tobiah has been my addiction to food for a really long time and it creates a lot of anger in me that I cannot eat what I really long to eat. God has been trying to rip this Tobiah out of my life for years now. Julie said an interesting thing tonight in that the one way my mom showed comfort to me was in food; it is very true. It was the only form of comfort I had growing up it seemed at times it was that or a four legged creature. I turned to food for everything, to shut down the pain, to give me pain, to end the madness in my brain. Not good when God wants that spot. I have been trying to wrestle with this addiction for the past several years and my sickness seems to only created another sin of anger in me that God crippled my body in such a way that I cannot enjoy pleasurable things anymore. Sure there are pleasurable things that do not include meat, dairy, oil, and alcohol. But I tell you it cuts out a whole lot of pleasurable things. It has also created a spirit of covetness in me to have a different body then I have. This has been around for a long time as well too, so it is nothing new. It is hard not to have this sin living in a community house were everyone is eating things that you cannot eat. I was looking in Philippians trying to find this passage that God was telling me to be content in my situation and with the body that he gave me. I was amazed that it came right before the passage that says we can do all things in Christ. Philipians 4:11-13 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." So, I confess my Tobiah and ask for prayer to get it the hell at of my life for good.

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