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Responses (sorted by date)
Mike_Wise: No Subject (7/13/10)
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I cannot sleep, lots of thoughts. This is for you Mike. I was going to wait till tomorrow, but I thought I would share it here and it would give you time to think. Plus, anyone else struggling with things could here it too. I have been thinking a lot about my story lately because I have been sharing it a lot. It is on my mind for you, Mike because I think you have a hard time believing the Supernatural and you go to the internet to explain the supernatural with logic and reason, but it cannot be explained there. You cannot explain God and the Supernatural with logic and reason sometimes. It is the power of the Holy Spirit which is beyond us. My story is beyond all logic and reason and medical science for that matter, it can only be explained by the Supernatural working of God.
I grew up being sexually and ritualistic abused nearly all of my childhood and trained to learn to listen and communicate with demons. I heard demons and saw demons and I felt demons. When I become a believer in High School, there was an attempt to free that did not go well because I dissociated the whole time, but I understood that what I was experience was not right for a Christian so I buried it and did not talk about it. Mostly if I did not actively live, the demons were manageable. I was an active Christian and "did" a lot of good stuff and ministered a lot. But I always did some form of self-harming behavior, originally it was cutting, it moved into bulimia in college, and then back to cutting, then I started smoking to burn myself. I went through counseling, but never addressed the ritualistic abuse or the demonic stuff because that was all buried very deep. I ran away from God for a while and all this time I was not sleep and having terrible night mares. I started at the Village about seven years ago, smoking like crazy, occasionally burning myself and doing other self-harm things and generally hating myself. I had even stopped playing music which had been my life before the two years running away from God. I slowly got some help, got loved one, turned to God. And quit smoking, and on 9/4/04, I nearly died with three blood clots in my lungs and one in my leg. Sitting on the hospital bed with oxygen pumping into me and Julie sitting by my side, I proclaimed for the first time in my life that I wanted to live and I did not want to die. All hell broke loss. Even though I was on medication for Bipolar, I was not sleep, the voices of the demons got worse, I was seeing them feeling them. I started cutting again. The leaders prayed over me and separately Rod saw the demon and Karen sensed the demon on me. For the next week, I finally gave up the truth about the ritualistic abuse and the stuff going on. I worked with Sue through the nighmares, the vows I made with Satan to protect myself, the lies I had committed to, and spoke in and found the truth of God. On 11/10/04, five leaders went and prayed over me while much of the rest of the church prayed at the Seneca House. It was a very amazing evening, the most pointed thing was at one point. Rod was thrown to the floor and could not breath because he was being strangled by a demon. I was dissociating and telling myself I was not there. Eric graped my face, got really close to me and said I had to pray. I came back to the room and I started to pray against the demons and in the name of Jesus and for the Holy Spirit and Rod started breathing. In all we sent five demons away that I was oppressed by. The amazing thing is that I slept soundly for like 9-10 hours that night, woke up the next morning was on the back porch and my head was silent, quiet and peaceful. I had never experienced that before. I felt the love of God really felt it for the first time. I had no desire to burn myself or cut myself. I still had to walk through a lot of my memories and past, and work on the wounds and I still did not always take care of myself, but the oppression was lifted. I started doing art. I did music again. I have walked into life. God has done amazing things. There is truth and darkness. The Holy Spirit and demons and Satan masquerades as an angel of light. There are many seemingly good ideas and logical thoughts out their, but if they are not of God and of the Holy Spirit they are not truth. Satan and demons are real and powerful and they are out to deceive everyone. Satan kept me bound in trying to bless God and people for 13 years of my Christian walk with His lies. But God wants freedom. I share my story for two reasons: to remember that God is powerful and can do all things and cannot be explained by reason because He is Supernatural and to remind everyone that we are really in war and that war is with a true enemy. That enemy was Jesus' enemy when He walked this earth and their he is our enemy; it is Satan and his demons. |
