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This was a few months ago...I was at the mall on a Wednesday afternoon. Can't remember why I'd even gone there. I don't think I even went there with a clear purpose in mind...though I don't normally shop, much less hang out at malls. I didn't even do that as a teenager, when I was "supposed" to.
Anyway, found myself at the mall, where I felt a pull: "Go to Dillard's." It's an expensive store, and they didn't even have their semi-annual clearance going on, but whatever...I went to Dillard's. Then, "Look in the lingerie section." OK, fine, what for? "Something for Cheryl." Why? It wasn't her birthday, in fact it was just a couple of months after her birthday, long before Christmas, etc. etc. Like Karen Bradley really needs an excuse to give someone a present. But still, I find excuses comforting, less uncomfortable/vulnerable.
"Check out this beautiful white robe--it's her size! She'll look good in it! She'll feel good in it! It's so soft! And guess what--you can even afford it. Don't even bother asking how this robe ended up not selling at full price....You just must give it to her." (As I'm writing this, it seems easy to know it was God talking, but in the moment, it just seemed like a crazy, but caring, impulse that I found it hard to ignore.) It's hard to explain the sense I had taking the robe off the rack, a feeling like I had to give her the robe not now, but more like *yesterday.*
Got home, stuffed it in the only box I had that would fit it, wrapped it, took it over to Seneca--darn it, she'd already left for her time alone with God at Ike's. So I sat through the Practical Theology meeting the next two hours, waiting and watching the back door for Cheryl to come through the door. FINALLY she came through the door, and she was looking...well, a bit intense to say the least... it didn't seem like the perfect gift giving moment. Oh, whatever.
"I have a present for you!" I shoved it toward her. "Open it!"
She opened it, and unfolded the robe with a stunned expression. She rather abruptly disappeared into her room. Ooops, maybe that wasn't the right thing to do? No, I told myself, it was the right thing to do.
Later on, Cheryl came back out and explained why opening the robe had freaked her out, and then my trip at the Mall all "made sense" (in a crazy God way) to me. Hmmm.
I went out and found a matching nightgown the next week. That second trip was a lot of fun, and I felt more at ease knowing "why"--but it's true that I don't always know the what or the why and I'm slowly learning to just do it anyway. |
