Villagersonline : blogs : blancaro : Eternal life ? huh?
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From: blancaro
Date: Fri Nov 9 17:26:11 EST 2007 Subject: Eternal life ? huh?

Responses
ryan: i am so there (11/9/07)
ginger: me too (11/10/07)
kelsea: Choices (11/11/07)
russ: Amen! (11/11/07)
adriennelynne: No Subject (11/11/07)
adriennelynne: No Subject (11/11/07)
Boojeee: faith/doubt (11/11/07)
emily: don't look down? (11/12/07)
Responses (sorted by date)
emily: don't look down? (11/12/07)
Boojeee: faith/doubt (11/11/07)
russ: Amen! (11/11/07)
adriennelynne: No Subject (11/11/07)
adriennelynne: No Subject (11/11/07)
kelsea: Choices (11/11/07)
ginger: me too (11/10/07)
ryan: i am so there (11/9/07)
Last night, I had an interesting conversation with my old (89 years old) neighbor across the street about where she will go when she dies.
She always says that she wants to die already, that God is not listening to her prayers, that she wants to see her husband, but that she doesn't even know if she will or not. Over and over I tell her not to loose hope that He is listening, that she will see her husband again, one day. My other neighbor (78years old) who was also there, started joking about may be going down to hell. I sat there telling them both not to loose hope, that God promised us eternal life, and that if we believe in him, we can partake in it. Told them about Jesus, that he was real, that his disciples didn't lie, told them about the resurrection and blah blah blah.
I think I sounded pretty secure and convincing cause they agreed and were smiling. But the reality is that I don't really know if I wholehearterly believe in it myself. I feel really sad because when I look at her, I really don't know with any certainty what is going to happen to her when she dies. As I talked about eternal life and how our time here on earth is just a bleep in our existance, I realize that at times I am so afraid that this is it. That when we die, thats it, we are gone! That eternal life and heaven are just ways that man came up with, in order to feel better about the sad reality of death. I sure hope it’s not true, so I hold on to that hope, but do I have the right to tell her about it and pretend I believe it too?

I know I did the right thing, but I sure can't help feeling like a liar, trying to convince them of something that I myself have trouble believing in it all the time.

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From: ryan
Date: Fri Nov 9 17:47:53 EST 2007 Subject: i am so there

recently i was invited to pray for someone. when i asked him how i should pray, he told me and it totally connected with how i was struggling with God. that i don't like what he is doing and that i feel like i can't trust him. i was speechless, i felt like i couldn't pray, because i was crying out with the very same questions and frustrations with God that this fellow had. i felt like i had to pretend or put on a face, to basically lie.

i think god used that moment for me to direct me to grab hold of what was true: that he does care, that he is trustworthy, that Satan is the one who is telling me that God is not trustworthy, that all things do indeed work for good. somehow my praying for this guy was my chance to enter the battle and live the truth, even if it didn't feel like it was truth. i still don't feel like it's the truth, but i feel like it's more true now than it used to be.

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From: ginger
Date: Sat Nov 10 12:58:57 EST 2007 Subject: me too

Blanca, you're not alone. I'm just to chicken to say that I too feel that sense of "what if this is all there is....". Thank you for your honesty. I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes because I say I believe but in actuality, I doubt. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just naive in believing the promises of God. Then there are those who say "how can you NOT believe". That just makes it worse because not only do I feel hypocritical but guilty too.
It wavers for me. Some days I'll be so confident in what is to come. Other days I'm like "lets just scrap all of this".
I have no answers but just to talk to people. When I hear others surety in eternal life, I seem to pull from that confidence and adopt it as my own. I really do thank you for posting this.
Ginger

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From: kelsea
Date: Sat Nov 10 21:58:42 EST 2007 Subject: Choices

I came to believe in God earlier this year through a similar process of questioning, from a reverse perspective. Before I became a believer, I went through a period of deep confusion and sadness, because I had come to the realization that if what I believed at the time was true--if God does not exist--then life has no meaning, is totally pointless, is just a collection of actions in which we continue to participate until we finally die. After months of feeling depressed about that, I found that I had a choice. I could either believe that that is true--in which case continuing to live is practically pointless--or I could believe that there is a being outside of our temporal existence that gives life meaning and hope through the promises that he has made and will keep. So I chose to believe that there is a God, that he cares, and that he has told us the truth about who he is and what we can expect from him. The alternative is simply impossible to bear. Yes, this choice does come out of a desperate longing for comfort and hope, and because of that there are still times when I question whether it was a valid decision to make. All I can do then is cling to memories of the moments when God has fulfilled his promises, and also remember that faith is truly the only thing that makes life worth living.

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From: russ
Date: Sun Nov 11 11:35:41 EST 2007 Subject: Amen!

AMEN, Kelsea, AMEN!

I grew up in the church, and I never have really walked away, but I spent a long time trying to prove my faith (so I could beat atheists over the head). In the end, I've concluded that I can't prove it, but what else is worth believing? God has made himself so clear to me, from time to time, that I just can't imagine a world without him.

But I don't mean that everybody has to feel certain. To struggle with God - and the idea of God - is normal. I want to say something very deep and encouraging here...but I think that others have already said it better than I can.

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From: adriennelynne
Date: Sun Nov 11 07:52:58 EST 2007 Subject:

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From: adriennelynne
Date: Sun Nov 11 08:01:12 EST 2007 Subject:

I posted about this on my blog recently.... it had to do with teaching the high school girls about real beauty and building up their self esteems and how God desires "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." (You can read the whole big long explanation on my blog.)
The part that I would like to offer comes from one of my favorite Village songs:

In our weakness we are found.

Which can seem scary, but the other great line in the song is

by his wounds we are healed.

well, the whole song is good...so you should all find it and listen to it right now.
I think this is a good thing and something that helps us repent and opens up oportunities for us.

Just a thought to add to the mix. :)

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From: Boojeee
Date: Sun Nov 11 13:15:30 EST 2007 Subject: faith/doubt

I too struggle a lot with doubt, especially when I'm inviting people to let themselves be connected to painful memories and experiences and offer that pain to God with the hope that this is the path to joy. I mean, I've walked with a lot of people on this journey and at some level I've seen "proof" that God really comes to us in the midst of suffering. And I myself have tasted healing and newness of life that I believe is the fruit of coming into eternal life [that I think begins here on earth as we enter into the kingdom of God, not something that starts after we die]. On the other hand, I have wrestled in my own life with sins and struggles and pain that seems to come around in cycles and never quite go away, which leaves me feeling in my darker hours like nothing ever changed in the first place.

Life in the Cycle
by Julie Brunson, Sept 2006

At times I fly through my maze,
Not bothering to stop at the food dispensers
To secure a pellet of sustenance.
What use is sustenance anyways
In this repetitive, existential experience?
But new thoughts come when I get
to the beginning of the maze—Or is it the end?
Well, they’re not actually new anymore,
Since they come to me periodically,
But they seem new in that moment
Or at least they used to
Before I recognized the maze.
Is it time to hope or despair?
Right. Hope.
And so I find myself
Again
Feeling the warm presence of something more,
Letting my tears well up
As I watch my passion slip around the next corner,
Enjoying a pellet or two in obedience
To what seems like a higher path.
And in those moments
Transcendence seems imminent,
Until I come around the next corner
And find despair,
Shadowing the corners and the road.
So I pull my cloak around me
And stumble along
Turn by turn
Until I begin to feel the warmth again.

OK. That was one of my more cynical, dark moments. I also have learned from my daughter what it looks like to hope for good things and enjoy the goodness that is around me. Her child faith and the beautiful love and tenderness she has for the people around us inspires me to hope and believe.

Anna
by Julie Brunson, 20 July 2004

I lie silent, still beside you
As you toss, touch,
Search for sleep
In dim twilight before dawn.
Deep scent of earth
On your little body
Calls to mind silt sparkling
On your tender skin,
Eyes flashing blue
In Arizona-bright sun,
As you present me a dirt-pie
And spin your theology of the Trinity
With the same string of child faith.
And I believe,
More in this moment
Than my fluctuating faith usually allows,
That this Triune God
Means for us to experience life
as richer, fuller and deeper
Than we adults often grasp.

I’ve also been helped by my friends who, even in the midst of their own struggles, have held on to faith for me, believing that I am in God’s hands and he is really there and I really belong to him. Cheryl wrote the Romans 10 that we sing out of this path of encouragement. Then I had a weird experience when I was flying on a plane, listening to Karen sing Psalm 148 [you can read about that here], where God somehow helped me to believe that he is really there.

But none of this is proof of anything, because in the end we’re choosing to believe something that can’t be proven. Ultimately doubt is not really the opposite of faith, but rather some element of it. I mean, if we could prove it all, it would be sight not faith—which doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes feel foolish for having faith in the first place. And our intro to the Apostles’ Creed is what we’re left with: this is our statement of faith, we say it because it’s what we believe, to remind ourselves that we believe it and to help each other hold on to faith. And when push comes to shove, it’s by grace we have been saved; I don’t have to get it all perfectly right, not even my faith/doubt ratio. And I’m glad that I’m not in this alone, because that seems too impossible and lonely. I love you all and I’m glad to be on the path with you.

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From: emily
Date: Mon Nov 12 09:38:32 EST 2007 Subject: don't look down?

Believing that God exists and is who he says he is is like running across the Grand Canyon on a little rope bridge. My heart drops when I look down. I crouch down on my knees and cling to the ropes for dear life. The winds of philosophy blow through the canyon and my bridge starts swinging. Sometimes I just stay there a long time with white knuckles getting cold and lonely. Sometimes I crawl from plank to plank trying to count the planks left until the end.

Other times I have tried to find a safer bridge. As others have pointed out, there doesn't seem to be a safer bridge. There are other philosophies out there and if you don't look down then any bridge seems pretty safe. Just look at the other side and keep walking. That works for a lot of people including Cristians with an uncompromising theology. But if you REALLY look around - its just another rope bridge swinging in the breeze. Why must I always look around.....?

Its hard for me that when I feel doubt about my current beliefs the only options are other beliefs that are equally unsupported. When I feel the bridge swing under my feet I wish there were some solid ground to step on to. Even the "wrong" solid ground would be welcome.

I'm still working on my "sea legs".

Emily

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