Villagersonline : blogs : andrea : work. . .what's that

From: andrea
Date: Fri Sep  2 12:37:03 MST 2005
Subject: work. . .what's that

Responses
Suki: Ironic disgruntlement (9/2/05)

Patricia: Congratulations (9/2/05)

Responses (sorted by date)
Patricia: Congratulations (9/2/05)
Suki: Ironic disgruntlement (9/2/05)

So, the McCulley family is excited. I talked to my boss yesterday about going down to a 1/2 time position at work starting soon (next few months if not before that). It is difficult to step into this because I feel guilty because I don't have any disability or 'good' reason (like kids, etc) to not work full-time. Somehow I have accepted a certain list of reasons for not working full time or at all; this list is slowly growing as I listen to those I trust who care about me saying new reasons...to have more time for my husband and others in the Village, to grieve and to have time to explore interests that I have but never thought I needed to have time for (the hardest reasons to accept leaving a job as it feels selfish). However, it is time and I am not going to fight it anymore.
I picture coming home or already being home when Ryan comes home and actually having emotional and physical energy to fully engage in his interests and our dreams together. Wow! What a difference that may make!

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From: Suki
Date: Fri Sep  2 15:42:22 MST 2005
Subject: Ironic disgruntlement

That's great, Andrea!
I hear you on the difficulty with cutting back at work. When I left my job (I cut down to part-time at Ashton's birth, which like you said felt 'justified', but a year later I quit altogether), I was stressed out for a good year following. I felt selfish doing things I was passionate about. I know it's irrational, but I felt guilty that other people I knew had to work while I was off playing. Because I wasn't spending all my time parenting. At that point, Ashton was sleeping A LOT and I was learning how to paint and enjoying my guitar. I also had this anxiety about all the decisions that happen in a day. When I was working, I knew exactly what I needed to do at any given moment. And I was good at it -- by the time I quit, I was the lead interpreter in the region. I received positive affirmation all the time, and my paycheck kept growing. All the stuff valued by our society and ME. Then, suddenly, I was sitting at home with no clue what I was supposed to do next. No guidelines, and not a lot of people gratuitously thanking me for what I was offering them. An enviable position, I've discovered, but it really messed me up for a while.
Anyway, I think it's cool to take the opportunity while you have it. And I hope you enjoy and have an easy transition into embracing it fully for whatever it will be!

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From: Patricia
Date: Fri Sep  2 16:11:07 MST 2005
Subject: Congratulations

Wow, Andrea, that's great! Taking off work BEFORE you have little people crowding your legs is a wonderful slap into the face of the guilt-monster.
The truth is that I have felt very guilty for not working full time now that Fiona and Timmy are in school full time. Eric gave me some good reasons, though. He said that, even if I'm not washing, polishing, cleaning, fixing anything around the house, but instead meeting with other people from within or without the Village, I am not just playing around. I am, in fact, the representative of the Williams-household. Without me doing that no one would know much about the Williams family. Besides, as Eric blogged with reference to Joel/Ryan's party and Cheryl's upcoming event, it is in just being present in the presence of others, that we communicating Christ in us. I realize that you do that at work as well. I guess the point is that you are simply shifting your field of influence.
At any rate, Andrea, I am truly proud of you and am cheering you on in your new endeaver!!!

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