how normal is it, parents,to not like your kids part of or sometimes all of a day?
Lately, it appears to me that our home is ruled by tantrums from the time M gets up to the time she goes to bed; we are on tantrum #7 (by the time I got done with this post it was #10) and she has only been out of bed for 45 min tops.
This world of adding a 2nd kiddo has seemed more and more isolating; it was getting better for awhile and now seems to have gone backwards. Maybe its my current mood this week and it will pass, I don't know. I'm praying a lot for God to fill in the gap. I'm wondering how other stay at home moms have dealt with the isolation. We try to get out, but if we are in the middle of tantrum day, do I really drag M out where it is more hectic to discipline and deal with the tantrums. I realize she is dealing with a new sibling so it is a new time for her too. As well as the whole foster care back and forth thing she deals with every week for the last 10 months.
I remember when Ryan and I were engaged. We talked about what our lives would be like. It was decided that I needed to leave a passion I had at my other church. I recall it feeling like I was losing my identity. This is feeling very similar lately. How have other moms, specifically, experienced this? Because what I do right now is child care all day, this is all I have to talk about, when asked, as I don't have anything else going on. I hear about Ryan's day or others' days by phone, but there is a big piece of this woman just disappearing. Again, any others care to discuss this part of parenthood?
Lately, I go back and forth on what is best for M...to stay or go elsewhere. I know it is not in our hands so it doesn't really matter what I think. We love her, she is our baby. I cry to think of her leaving, so I know if we get the chance for her to stay, we will. However, maybe God has other ideas, better ones, and will intervene. She has grown healthier in our home, but maybe someone else, her relative is the other option, can offer her something more that she needs now.
Anyway, input parents...
Also, I am putting out the invite...we have a baby pool. If you have small kids or are a single woman, feel free to come by and hang out with us during the day (hope you still want to even after hearing about our days). Call first, please. If you want to drop by without using the baby pool, that is good too. I am welcoming any company that you would like to offer. If you wish to invite us over, that can work too...if I can figure out some non-kid time to hang out with others, then that time would be appreciated too.
We are supposed to be dealing with our selfishness. I guess that is what parenting does, just like marriage. This whole e-mail sounds selfish, but I just need to know what others have done to cope, not disappear, and still have parts of themselves available to still give to their kids, their husbands, their community.
Thanks.... |