Does God still perform direct physical healing miracles? Yes. I've seen at least one, first hand.
Often, though, miracles are more subtle, through the hands of humans.
And often the physical healing, the resolution of the problem (whatever it is) never comes.
What do we do with those dreams deferred?
If the loss of the dream, the unmet longing, is an empty paper bag I carry in my hands...does it become soiled and ragged over time... does the disappointment form a fist and smash the bag... do I throw the bag onto the fire...then do I roast marshmallows on the fire???
Maybe I turn the bag into a hand puppet. Fandango style. Make jokes, entertain myself, make light of it.
Maybe I tear the bag into pieces.
Maybe I throw the bag onto the compost pile.
Maybe I feel that who I am is just a "bag lady." But no, that can't be true. I am so much more than my disappointments. I am so much more than the things that have eluded me.
Will I find God inside that empty bag? Or just a bunch of C02 and nitrogen (since the oxygen seems long gone...)
I guess my hope is not in the miracle, not in the filling of the bag, but that God is holding the bag along with me.
So what on earth does that look like?
What on earth does that feel like?
Or maybe it's not all "on earth." Maybe that's what we do on earth, just keep holding it.
How can an empty bag feel like such a heavy burden sometimes? |