Villagersonline : blogs : andrea : last push to the finish line
villagersonline
A Community Tunneling Protocol
The Village meets at 5pm Sundays
1926 N. Cloverland Ave. map

Links
(edit) The Village Cancer Relief Fund;


From: andrea
Date: Mon Jan 7 16:37:48 EST 2008 Subject: last push to the finish line

Responses
em: beautiful with (1/8/08)
andrea: more prayer please (4/3/08)
Responses (sorted by date)
andrea: more prayer please (4/3/08)
em: beautiful with (1/8/08)
I have lots of emotions swirling around in my heart as our family has passed the 16 1/2 month mark of fostering our little toddler girl. I feel sadness at the prospect of placing her back in her bio-family's arms forever in 4 1/2 more months, for our loss and hers. I feel helpless in that I cannot protect her from anything bad that might happen to her. I feel fear that she is going to experience trauma from losing us, Ellie, familiarity, etc. when she is returned. I feel angry at God because this seems to be His chosen outcome for this long journey. I dread and at the same time, look forward to this hard future being completed and over. I am tired, drained, broken, hopeless. And I feel vulnerable, writing all of this down.

I share this with you, our spiritual family, because we need you. We need you lifting us up in prayer, your love, your hugs, etc. This community has taught me to ask for things when we need it versus just assuming you all can read my mind and 'if you loved me, you would just know'. You all haven't been through the loss of a child in this way...only one other family has in our community, so I am acknowledging that you won't know how to help us, love us, etc. But we do need you; I know personally, that I need God most of all, but don't know how to even sense that He is here anymore. So, I need reminding that He is here and that He cares. It hurts so much to express all of this.

Anyway...thanks in how God uses you in our lives, in the past, present, and future.

Edit this blog
Write a response Email the author



From: em
Date: Tue Jan 8 00:58:23 EST 2008 Subject: beautiful with

Andrea, It's so hard for me to wrap my heart around the emnormity of what you are feeling. What I mean is, keeping the integriy of being your friend - by allowing myself to feel WITH you - is incredibly painful and exhausting.....and I chose to taste it with you. I ache for you, and for Kala and Ryan.
Thank you for giving me this priveledge. Thank you for offering your heart.

WHAT I WANT TO SAY
is that reading your blog pierced my heart with the BEAUTY of YOUR HEART.
AND THAT though you do not see or feel God with you right now, I SEE HIM. I SEE HIM WITH YOU. He is right beside you feeling WITH you. You and He are very much sharing this experience.
I SEE the two of you side by side, beautiful together.

Edit this response
Write a response



From: andrea
Date: Thu Apr 3 16:48:00 EDT 2008 Subject: more prayer please

Monday, we have the last team meeting for our little daughter M. The meeting will be about transitioning her over the next month. I made some calls today for childcare and realized in the middle of the message I was leaving that...'this is the last one' and she will be gone soon. The waves of grief hit new at each little passing of milestones. But, it is time for it to be over. M is experiencing such a range of anxiety, fear, sadness at all of this and it needs to be done and over for her sake. And ours...we expect that the transition will go quickly so not to lengthen the anxiety any further.

Please again, be in prayer with us for her, her birth family, God's wisdom, Ellie, etc. I pray for joy to fill the time we have left together, and protection for her little heart through her grief and loss that is coming.

Thanks.

Edit this response
Write a response Email the author


Write a blog
Latest Updates

blogs (upload)
eric: Parenting thoughts (8/11/14)
sunnygirl7d: Reuben fishing blog (1 resp) (8/8/14)
samantha: My new blog (8/11/14)
eric: New Website (8/7/14)
dbonilla: Annie Moses Band (3/14/14)
Suki: Ash Wednesday (3/5/14)
andrea: Good news update! (1 resp) (2/3/14)
Carena: More moving help (2/1/14)
Carena: A Friend in Need (3 resp) (1/25/14)
em: Tell me how I can pray (1/24/14)
andrea: Need for Volunteers-Foster Car... (1/19/14)
andrea: suffering (1/7/14)
rodhugen: Two quotes (2 resp) (1/3/14)
cwill: Please pray (2 resp) (1/26/24)
Carena: Polaroid Camera (12/23/13)

pictures (upload)
Suki: Vespers Dec 2012 (1/26/24)
eric: Ordination (3/16/14)
Suki: Soup Supper 2012 (3/17/14)
eric: Belonging 2012 (1/7/14)
eric: sabbath (3/16/14)

bios (upload)
Mike_Wise (1/16/13)
james (11/14/12)
clrclady (1/28/12)
SPark (11/27/11)
benjipark (12/2/10)

music (upload)
Frosted Flakes :
Everywhere j2014 (1/16/14)
Frosted Flakes :
New Found Hope J2014 (1/16/14)
Frosted Fla es :
Trinity Jan2014 (1/16/14)
Skeptic Chickens :
No Condemnation (7/29/13)
Karen and Friends :
Breastplate May 5 (5/10/13)

sermons (upload)
Eric,Ron Layman: The Disciplines RL (3/6/14)
Eric: Habakkuk Part One (1/16/14)
Eric: Noah's Ark (9/27/13)
Eric: The Fall (9/13/13)
Rod: Creation (9/13/13)

Villagersonline.com 2010
Contact Us
(edit) Site Meter
Free Search Engine Submission
Free Search Engine Submission

"Best Viewed at 1024x768 under the light of the full moon in July while Mercury is in Leo
and six pigmy marmosets do the lambada behind you singing Kumbaya" -- User Friendly