I don't think that missionary is quite right. I'm not at all comfortable with the word "demand." I think a lot of people will agree with me that when we bring demands to God, that's not cool.
Now, intense begging, telling God how much you really want it, that's different. And I will advocate for it. And give you an example.
I have told some people at the Village the story of when Emily Mc almost died. At the time, we'd been friends for over 10 years, and Kelly was just born, the week before. A complication from the delivery, Emily's heart failed (cardiomyopathy). For days, she struggled for breath in a Tucson hospital. I was in Casa Grande, teaching, that week... I could barely stand thinking the thought of my dear friend, very possibly dying, and I was in Casa Grande, feeling utterly powerless--feeling that way because frankly, I was.
It was not the first time that a dear, young friend of mine suddenly almost died, nor the first time I had interceded, and she lived.
It was also not the first time someone I loved had died very young from heart failure.
I prayed that she would live, and I was very honest with God: "If she dies, I won't be able to speak to you again for a long time." It was NOT meant as a manipulative demand; it was a mere statement of what I knew would be true, and the unspoken part B was that I couldn't bear *not* speaking to him again for a long time.
Emily and I like to joke about that very non-politically-correct prayer now!
I think that if it's what you want, you should continue to pray that God bring Haylee back to you. And have friends pray that with you. (I have prayed that myself since you left for Michigan.) That prayer may already have been answered, "Yes, but not now." Of course you want her now, and the pain of not now is very real.
I think you should continue to ask for reunion with your little girl, and be willing to grieve her loss, while somehow moving forward, too, into what God has now for you and for her.
Not sure how that all works. It's something strange, like grieving being single, while embracing it, too... Where I was for a loooong time. |