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So the other day I was reading about how marriage was treated in olden times.It really blew my mind I mean I already knew about this stuff but still I feel like God revealed a truth to me as I was studying this stuff.
The husband’s father would arrange a match with the father off the bride and would offer a Mohar, this could be cash or goods or service. there was also a Mattan which is the gift given to the bride. Genesis 24 is a perfect example of this as Abraham’s servant finds Rebeka, and when her family has given permission for her to go with him to marry Issac the servant presents the family and Rebeka with gold and silver and clothing and costly jewelry. Mohar for the family and Mattan for Rebeka.
Buying a wife for marriage.
The idea is such a beautiful thing, I’d buy my wife if I could afford her. Though she would be worth more than I could give I would gladly give all I had for her. I don’t know of many men who don’t feel the same way about their wives but something went wrong with this idea. It seems to me that, instead of purchasing the wife like she was some beloved treasure the Jews, and other tribes and nations, began purchasing their wives as chattel. A word that means portable property
There isn’t much documented difference between slavery and chattel marriage except for two things. The laws of slavery were very rigid when it came to abusing slaves and also the buying and selling slaves. There doesn’t seem to be any laws documenting the fair treatment of wives or children when it comes to chattel marriage.
It seems to me that like with most things we missed the point of something that was started with the best of intentions. I think when the bible talks about buying a woman for marriage it’s not so that we as men can feel like we own her and can do with her what we please and get rid of her when we feel like it. It’s because we are supposed to think of our women as treasure, the mohar and mattan are not a depiction of what the wife is worth but a picture of what we as men are willing to give so that we might have one of our own to love.
And the the bible also talks about submission and love These verses are oft quoted in Ephesians 5
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Before I got into this business of submission let me also quote the not so oft quoted next verses
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansingb her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”c 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
A profound mystery indeed. Love your wife as you love herself,
Feed and care for her just as you would you own body.
I love to watch couples dance. the whole ceremony of it, the guy asks this beautiful maiden if he might have some of her time to dance with her, to be close to her. She blushes and she says yes and so they shuffle onto the dance floor. At first it’s all awkward giggles and shifting and trying to figure if they should hold hands or wrap their arms around each other. They find the beat and the dance begins. The man leads, gently rocking back and forth and the woman if she’s really comfortable will rest her head on his shoulder, submitting to his lead.
It doesn’t come up very much and it’s not something that I think a lot about but If someone were to ask me who the leader of my marriage was I would say me. I would say it with great humility for to be tasked with the high order of loving and caring for my amazing Corrie is not something I take lightly. I think of the ways in which I do this, I keep track off our finances making sure that what little we have keeps us afloat. I try to come up with long term and short term goals for us to meet. I encourage her in any dreams that she may have. I comfort her when she has had a bad day, I act as her safe harbor.
Notice that as I’ll admit to being a leader I never mention that I boss her around or I make her do things she is not comfortable in doing. I keep track of the finances yes but the money is ours not mine not hers but ours. Everything we make goes into a single account which we use to keep our life going. We have become one we are equal, yet we have separate roles. We dance, awkwardly but still we dance, I lead, gently, and she follows. There is no struggle for control between us I think we just do what comes natural.
I am her Isaac and she my Rebeka.
I’d pay any price asked for her love. and I’ll go to the end of my days loving her as completely as I can. | 
