Villagersonline : blogs : MaryKay : Terrible Mother

From: MaryKay
Date: Tue May 22 16:24:14 EDT 2007
Subject: Terrible Mother

Responses
emily: perspective (5/24/07)
dbonilla: Parenting (5/29/07)

Responses (sorted by date)
dbonilla: Parenting (5/29/07)
emily: perspective (5/24/07)

The most recent revelation that has surfaced in my life is that I have believed I was a terrible mother to our three children. Perhaps you have heard me say that God protected them from me and that they became awesome Godly adults despite me being their mother. I had myself convinced that I had nothing good to offer them just as I believed my mother had nothing good to offer me. This feeling of failure and worthlessness is not a new thing in my life and the last several years have found me wrestling with the concept that I am loveable and valuable to God and others He has put in my life. Last week a friend pointed out that I have believed a lie and challenged me to seek the truth about how I mothered. So I have found myself wondering if only the new me I am discovering has good things to offer? Did the old version of me also have value and good things to offer? Did I impact my kids in a positive way despite my sinfulness? Did they find relationship with Christ only because others showed them the way?
I have spent much time focusing on how I have hurt the kids and have been on my knees before God and them asking for forgiveness. But to believe I also showed them love, grace and beauty is difficult but I’m beginning to see it’s true. While my relationship at that time with Christ was immature I know that He showed Himself through me because that is His promise. YES, I AM CREATED IN HIS IMAGE AND HE IS IN ME AND WAS IN ME THEN! This realization is so freeing! I can sin and make mistakes and not only be forgiven but blessed. God’s faithfulness to me has continued to sweeten my relationship with Him and with Jennie, Jeff and Sarah. I’m looking forward to making these truths more and more a part of my journey and to what it will look like as it’s fleshed out in my daily life.
Watch for the next episode of "Pain and Joy along the Way".

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From: emily
Date: Thu May 24 16:01:32 EDT 2007
Subject: perspective

That's a good perspective for a mom in the middle of kid raising to hear. It often seems pointless to me to try to be a good mom since it seems inevitable that I'll look back and see a better way.
I start to get the feeling that instead of saving for our kid's college tuition we should all be investing in funds that pay for years counseling! Now I guess I'll just spend that money on taking the family to Hawaii and let the future take care of itself...
Emily

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From: dbonilla
Date: Mon May 28 20:03:58 EDT 2007
Subject: Parenting

This article http://www.beliefnet.com/story/34/story_3474_1.html?WT.mc_id=NL44
reminds me of all the times I've tried to give the right answer to my son, instead of letting him wonder. Even today, when he is 19 years old, I often try to think too hard instead of waiting for him to tell me his thoughts. The best answer is often not cerebral at all.
It also reminds me of that first God Play meeting at the Cromer's, when Aaron's friend demonstrated how we motivate our children to be creative, to exercise their wonderful, natural God-given creativity. Truly smart parents don't pretend to know the answer to a question about a Bible story, or anything else, that really no one but God knows.
Here's a couple quotes from the article to pique your interest.
"Our job is not just to talk to children about God, but to encourage them to relate to the God they already know."
Regarding the divine presence, "It may have felt more like spontaneous joy or a sense of being loved and protected. But it is within us, in our very being, closer than any creed."
I rejoice with you, MaryKay, and with all the parents of young, old, adopted and foster Villagers, that God forgives us for all the mistakes we've made in parenting. In His grace, He even goes beyond forgiveness and uses the error of our ways for His glory.

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