From: MaryKay
Date: Tue Oct 24 11:13:29 MST 2006
Subject: Letting go

Spiritually God has been walking me down a path of letting go of things I take for granted. He has shown me with Tom's brush with death that having Tom at my side is not for sure and that being married could disappear in a heart beat. Next He has taken away the surety that we would move closer to the kids and grandkids by changing Tom's heart and his vision for the future. This past weekend our son Jeff called to ask us to pray that he would find a new job soon. He will be looking in Virginia where his in-laws live. Sarah, Brad and William are enjoying living near family in Flagstaff and Williams other grandparents are seeing and loving him almost on a daily basis. My heart is truely happy with what God is doing and how He is showing His love for me and each of those in the family but at the same time I am sad and grieving that I can't have now what I so deeply long for and see others experiencing. Oh how it hurts to not hold my grandchildren on a regular basis and to think that Christian and his new sister might live so very far away. Oh how it hurts that I can't be the one living so close to my grandchildren. Oh how it hurts to think Tom might not always be with me. Yet there is also so much hope and blessing in letting go of the demands in each of this situations. How wonderful it is to have Tom with me today and to see him walking into his identity. How wonderful it is to know that William is being loved and adored by his grandparents. How wonderful it is to know Christian and baby sister will be enveloped by Esthers family if they move to Virginia. How wonderful to know that my Father is in control and is watching over all of us. How wonderful it is that the future may still bring these dreams to reality in my life. How wonderful it is to know that no matter what happens God is wooing me into His presence to find rest and comfort.

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