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The window of my dorm room at William Jewell College in Missouri where I attended my first year overlooked my favorite place on campus, which, oddly enough, was a historic graveyard on the top of a hill. I walked through that graveyard, night or day, probably more than anyone else from campus and often found a tree to sit under to do my homework. Walking through there or sitting quietly in that space was never a creepy experience for me. It was peaceful, since rarely anyone else would be there and the ancient gravestones and massive trees made for a lovely vista. I liked to read the inscriptions on the grave stones and think about the people who had lived their lives so many years ago. I wondered if anyone remembered them now, or if they had lived their lives well. I walked amongst the graves imagining what kind of people were buried there and thought about the fact that they were like me, living life uniquely, facing its joys and sorrows with death looming in their future. I wondered if they knew God. Like them, I would someday be dead, and the reminder inspired me to live well. My favorite thing to do was to imagine what it would be like to be in the graveyard when Jesus returned. The Bible says that when he does, “the dead in Christ shall rise first” and I thought it would be such an exciting thing to see those people burst from their graves and rise joyfully to the sky! I would wave to them and shout gleefully and say, “I'm coming too!” I liked to imagine how amazing it would be if I were at a funeral of a loved one when Jesus came back. One minute I'd stand there crying because of losing them and the next, I would see my loved one jump out of the coffin and do a happy jig before going up to see Jesus. It would be so funny! I am praying that if I am not dead yet when Christ returns that he will let me be in a graveyard when he comes back so I can see all the excitement.
One beautiful Spring day in 2003, I was sitting on the window sill in my dormroom looking out at the hill. I was contemplating certain things in my life, specifically thinking about how much God had worked in my life that school year. “Lord, I am so thankful for all the changes you have made in my life. It was difficult and dark in the middle of the process at one point, but I feel so different now, so...free!” I was praying along those lines and yet, still feeling slightly melancholy when my eyes were diverted to some flitting orange shapes near the hill. I focused on them and smiled when I realized they were dozens of orange butterflies! Missouri often has hundreds of butterflies flying around in the Spring, but it was unusual to see so many of them in one area. I stared at them, watching their festive dances and thankful for the lively sight, when it seemed as if God suddenly spoke to my heart and said, “You are like those butterflies!” I thought about it. My heart jumped at the analogy! What a wonderful picture, I thought! A butterfly starts out as a crawly caterpillar, inching along in life. Its perspective on life consists of a few inches in front of his face and lives day to day eating green leaves. Then, when the time is right, it surrounds itself in a tiny dark cocoon and lives there for a few weeks, cramped and alone. Even though the situation is not necessarily ideal, this is when the most changes occur. The caterpillar slowly morphs into a different being altogether and emerges with colorful wings and the ability to fly! The life thereafter is spent flying about with other butterflies, rising up to the sky to see the ground below or to look at the clouds, resting on vibrant flowers and eating sweet juices from the flowers' colorful throats. What a change! What freedom!
It made me think that the work God does in our lives is like that. Not only does God change us and offer us freedom when we first accept Him as our Savior, but he continues to change us all throughout our lives and we constantly emerge with a grander perspective! I thought it was fitting that the butterflies were flying around the graveyard. Jesus was like the caterpillar, humbly walking on earth, then he wrapped himself in the tomb of death for a few days, to emerge as the beautiful, glorious conquerer of sin! When we die, even though God does little miraculous things in our lives that increasingly give us freedom and beauty, again, we will emerge like butterflies from a cocoon. In comparison, our lives will be like crawling along like a caterpillar, and after we die and rise in the Lord, he will free us from all the constraints of this world! We will be changed into glorious beings and fly about on wings of freedom. So, fellow butterflies, isn't that a lovely thought?
When I came to the Village and Eric said I could decorate a window, I was so happy and slightly taken aback! “I'm new here! He doesn't know me! I could mess up the window, or I could decorate it with a pentagram or swastika for all he knows!” I remember asking him if he was sure I could decorate a window, just in case he was just being polite. I mean, the idea of painting a window in a church was just so exciting, surely the offer was too good to be true! Eric insisted and assured me that he didn't think I'd make a mess of it. I stood at the window wondering what to do and amazed at being given the freedom to create whatever I wanted, when the idea hit me. I just knew this church was a place of freedom and growth. And so I decorated the window to reflect how God most works in my life and how I felt God was going to continue to work in me and in this church. Thus the butterfly and the word, “FREE!”...... I am free!..... You are free! Praise the Lord for butterflies! |
