Villagersonline : blogs : Karen : respD95jyZ

From: Karen
Date: Tue Sep 27 11:39:51 MST 2005
Subject: On with the identity

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Suki: Proactive Identity Formation (9/28/05)

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Suki: Proactive Identity Formation (9/28/05)

I'm remembering my mother, when I was a teenager, describing me once as a leader. I was like, *say what??** I was a shy introvert who was always behind the scenes, in the corner. Now I've been leading a classroom for almost 8 years and am just becoming comfortable w/the teacher-leadership identity. I've been in Village leadership for, I don't know, two years now? And I was shocked last November to step onto a spiritual battlefield, turn around, and then actually see friends alongside me. I'm not a leader/warrior because of me, I'm a leader/warrior because God has put me in places of leadership, and it's an awkward role to grow into, much of the time, but I can't say it's all in all a bad one.
Experiencing an identity in Christ is a bit like, well, evolving into an adolescent body--it's yours, all right, although it doesn't quite feel like it, a bit foreign, scary but also exciting. And you will get used to it. You'll grow into it. So take care of it, make good choices with it, and thereby embrace it.

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From: Suki
Date: Tue Sep 27 17:05:57 MST 2005
Subject: Proactive Identity Formation

Lately God has been showing me that I have identity as one who articulates truth. I think this happens as I ask questions to search out other people's lives, as I speak, as I play and/or write music, and as I paint. So I think that my musical pursuits and my paintings and the words I speak are good for the people in my community, because they show some part of what's on God's heart that probably wouldn't be communicated in the same way if I didn't put it out there.
I'm also a good mom. I think that there are those who learn what it means to be a mom by watching me, or who realize some of what they were supposed to have from their moms.
And I'm discovering that as I live into who I am at the core, I become a better friend. Because I'm not trying to be myself in one compartment and an elusive 'ideal friend' in another compartment. I can be the friend who is me offering myself, both in the same space; not trying to be somebody else.
What I've been thinking about this over the past two weeks is that the proactive part of identity formation for me is not just the statement of my identity, but telling people why it's a good identity and what kind of positive impact it's likely to have. That all feels arrogant to put out there in front of people. But I think covering it up is a false humility. Shame, even. And walking in the light means not just owning up to my weaknesses & sins, but also to the good that God has created/is creating in me.

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