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From: CoreyGilks
Date: Mon Apr 26 19:42:23 EDT 2010 Subject: Up on the mountain

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Laelia: Lovely! (4/27/10)
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eric: Thxs (4/28/10)
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eric: Thxs (4/28/10)
clrclady: Thank you (4/27/10)
lizzies: thanks (4/27/10)
Laelia: Lovely! (4/27/10)
I want to share with you all some decisions Coleen and I (Corey) have made for our futures, and also explain the process that I've been through. I've told many of you our plans for the future and didn't want to leave anyone in the dark.

I've found it difficult to find God's calling in my life and I would love to share with you the clarity I have found from Him and how I believe to have received it. First of all, Coleen and I are moving to Seattle, Washington at the end of this summer. Our target date to be out of Tucson is July 30th. We are driving up there in our car behind her parents (who will be towing our belongings in a trailer). I have been accepted into the Masters of Divinity program at Mars Hill Graduate School and Coleen has been accepted into the Masters program at the University of Washington's School of Occupational Therapy. We plan on beginning our studies this fall.

I've been wrestling with decision making for a really long time. In fact, as some of you know, I've unmade decisions right after making them. For example, after defining Coleen's and my relationship as "dating," I soon (the next day) defined it as "not dating." For further details, feel free to ask us about it, it's a pretty humorous story. That aside, I heard a Mark Driscoll sermon about making decisions and he pretty much gave two solid techniques: First, talk to people you know and love, who also know and love you back. Get their input about your potential decision and process the reasons. Second, pray a lot. I admit that it's really hard for me to pray a lot, especially because I'm so easily distracted. However, I talked with a few wise people and they gave me their input, and then said "Go pray about it." So I decided to go up the mountain for some solitude (free plug, Keith) and see if God would really speak to me.

Let's get one thing straight here: I don't do outdoors very well. First, my allergies are pretty horrendous. Being outside for more than a few minutes is enough to make my nose turn into a leaky drain pipe. Luckily, Singulair is a serious miracle drug. Second, I don't do hiking very well. There's that whole fear of falling down a mountain and never being found thing that usually stops me from hiking. Well, this time I decided that if I was going to go hiking (alone this time) I'd have to have a serious trust talk with God. So I laid it out there: "God, I really long to seek your voice up on this mountain. Please don't let me die via terrible mountain accident/mountain lion attack." And I went.

One thing I was hiding from God was that I already knew where I was going, so I had familiarity on my side. One thing God was hiding from me (that I soon found out) was that the trail I was going to go on somehow wasn't there anymore. So I took the Finger Rock Trail up into mysterious places. Long story longer, I really struggled to 1. Hike, 2. Keep sight of the trail, 3. Find a place to stop, 4. Maintain enough energy to get me past an hour or so of hiking. One hour down, along with a liter of sweat and the disorientation of a fly next to a glass window. And then, it happened...

This is where the real meat of the story unfolds. God provided for me the most perfect spot to rest and have the beauty of his creation before me. So I sat, I drank some water, and waited.

Nothing.

No burning bush. No cracks in the sky.

"I've heard God before, maybe I'll try to relive the process." So I read my journal from a couple years ago. I read about how I felt connected with God and how I felt that, through his word, I could find direction. So then I read a passage from Proverbs:

Prov 2:6
For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding.
v 11: Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.

"Well if God says that if I know his words, then I am able to make decisions that are wise."

Then I prayed (this is straight from my journal):

God will you give me wisdom so I may know and understand what to do? God you are the living God of the universe and control all things. Control my life; I trust you with it. I trust you with money, my marriage, my life and my future...I think I know what is best for me but I don't. You know what's best for me, will you please tell me?..God, please put resolution on my heart.

And then I had a vision. I had a vision of being at the hospital (where I work) and having this patient who didn't speak any English. She spoke 100% Swahili and was very private. She didn't wear the hospital gown; instead she wore her head wraps and long dresses: very modest. Well, this woman was in our unit for a while and needed to get cleaned up. I prepared a bucket for her with soapy water and washcloths to wash with, but she was unable to bend over and get her legs and feet. I gestured to help her with the washing and she refused. I gestured that it's ok if I was her feet and she finally let me. Washing this woman's feet made me feel weird. I'm not saying weird like weird sexually, but weird in a way that was humbling. Here I am scrubbing this lady's feet (which needed the cleaning, for sure) and she and I have connected in a special way. I know that feeling since I wash a lot of feet, but this one instance stood out in this vision. And that was it.

I had a vision of washing feet.

What the heck...? How am I supposed to translate that? The only time I remember any foot washing was in John 13, so that's where I went next.

John 13:5

...(Jesus) poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

13:14

"Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

This is some serious business. These dudes have some mad nasty feet. They walk around stables and streets with some disgusting stuff on them, and here is Jesus washing them with his un-gloved hands and then wiping them on a towel around his waist. Wow. This is humbling. And this is what I believe God wants me to do. He wants me to be humble and wash the feet of men and make disciples of them. He wants me to enter dark places in order to really see God. He wants me to go through exactly what I want the people I influence to go through. And Mars Hill Graduate School is the place for me to do it.

The clarity was the strangest part for me. It's like God had renewed my spirit and changed part of me. Like I had gone up the mountain a boy and come down a man. Going down the mountain, I had a renewed sense of protection. I was skipping over rocks and jumping over the streams, sliding on the dirt and bounding around like I was fully guarded from injury. I felt alive.

So that is the plan: to follow God into what I believe he has prepared for me. I need you to still pray for us as we venture into unfamiliar territory. We have a long way to go to pursue our future and need some serious help.

Thanks so much for being my community for the last couple years. You all have helped me see what a true community is. I long to stay fully emotionally engaged until I leave, so please rebuke me if you feel I am shutting down.

Corey Gilchrist

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From: eric
Date: Wed Apr 28 19:20:49 EDT 2010 Subject: Thxs

Thanks for posting this Corey.

Eric

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